Apologizing to the wrong people


The other day my wife and I had an argument. Not even an argument, it was just a conversation that I managed in the wrong way. She said something about my character and my ego immediately recoiled: “how dare you!”

Today I feel different about it all. Not all, just my reaction. I have an ego. A cautious little critter that looks out for my best interest…to a fault.

Today I apologized. Not to her. To me. See, I think we have been apologizing to the wrong people all along. To apologize to her means that I can’t control myself. It decentralizes it. “This is just who I am.” BARF! What a cop out. 

But, if I apologize to me, I am actually making a change. I now recognize there is this thing inside of me that I can address. Outsourcing it to “I’m sorry” only prolongs the problem and guaranteed, it will show up another day. 

Thank you Universe for giving me this opportunity. 

I am doomed to live this circle until I control my ego. Viciously and violently living a circle of suffering until I make a choice. 

A choice to apologize to me. 

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