The other day my wife and I had an argument. Not even an argument, it was just a conversation that I managed in the wrong way. She said something about my character and my ego immediately recoiled: “how dare you!”
Today I feel different about it all. Not all, just my reaction. I have an ego. A cautious little critter that looks out for my best interest…to a fault.
Today I apologized. Not to her. To me. See, I think we have been apologizing to the wrong people all along. To apologize to her means that I can’t control myself. It decentralizes it. “This is just who I am.” BARF! What a cop out.
But, if I apologize to me, I am actually making a change. I now recognize there is this thing inside of me that I can address. Outsourcing it to “I’m sorry” only prolongs the problem and guaranteed, it will show up another day.
Thank you Universe for giving me this opportunity.
I am doomed to live this circle until I control my ego. Viciously and violently living a circle of suffering until I make a choice.
A choice to apologize to me.