I’m a firm believer in getting enough exercise and the right kinds of it. Over the last year, I’ve found hot yoga to not only blast my core, arms, and legs, but it does a number on my spirit and mind as well.
Last week I was in yoga class, meditating at 5:45 AM as the room began to heat up. The instructor started us off by doing small stretches and working into bigger ones. Eventually, we moved into the down-dog position, lifting one leg, then the other. Moving our limbs into space stretching for a point somewhere in the universe.
“Yoga is the perfect opportunity to be curious about who you are.” –Jason Crandell
Being winter, I paid no mind when my nose started dripping and wiped it with my shirt which was getting sweat-stained anyway. Hot yoga ain’t about looking pretty.
My nose kept dripping and it wasn’t until I wiped it with a snow-white terry-cloth towel did I realize, “holy shit! I’m bleeding!” And it was all over the front of my shirt!
Sure, nosebleeds happen all the time to people, but it looked like I just murdered my down-dog! My ego was saying “holy crap” as I kept wiping my nose, but nothing was stopping. I went through two towels and a few wipes as deftly and quietly as I could (luckily the room is fairly dark and I was in a corner).
The bleeding eventually slowed after 5–10 minutes of attempts and I laughed a bit at the sight of myself. Definitely not pretty.
“When you listen to yourself, everything comes naturally. It comes from inside, like a kind of will to do something. Try to be sensitive. That is yoga.”–Petri Räisänen
What had happened is that due to the dry air of winter, caused by 24/7 heating in the house (thanks bomb cyclone), combined with the pressure in my nose as I was moving through the positions, the vessels in my nose broke loose and like David Bowie’s song, started screaming “let me out!”
And then it struck me. Why was I creating so much pressure in my nasal cavity? Was this normal? How can I modify what I am doing to release the pressure as much as possible?
Aha! It was because I wasn’t breathing! I was actually holding my breath, something I hadn’t noticed before. I have heard the instructors say 100 times that “this is a breathing class first, movement class second”. But I was holding back. I was doing it “my way!”
I was creating a ton of pressure when I should be letting go and releasing into my breath. I was creating a story about the fact that I knew how to breathe, so subconsciously, I was drowning out the instructions. And it had a physical effect on me: blood and lots of it.
Yoga is not about tightening your ass. It’s about getting your head out of it.” –Eric Paskel
The hour passed and as I sat at the end of my mat (facing the instructor) physically spent and sweating from every pore, I said one of those things I say to myself quite often: “Huh”.
-Where else am I holding pressure in my life and not going with the flow?
-Where else am I not listening to the experts?
-What physical/emotional/spiritual effects is this neglect having?
The nosebleed was a signal. A sign to release and be aware of what I was doing and not just go through unconsciously doing things the way I have always done them.
-Where are you holding back and creating unnecessary pressure?
-How can you release this pressure?
-Once you release the pressure, what does life look like?